Kiss me good-bye, with your last words, make me cry

[overmore]

Aesop felt a long-awaited relief once Désire had brought him to his home. The man has been the light at the end of the tunnel for so long that it was hard to believe it was happening now. He wished it was in a better moment, not when his mother had passed away and he had to find a new place to be in. The man was kind enough to take him in, especially after he heard he might have to go to an orphanage. Kids were always mean to him for a reason he couldn’t understand, and that wasn’t going to change if he went there. Everywhere he went, he was bullied. Désire was the only person besides his mother who would never be mean to him.

“It’s quite a big house, so you might need some time adjusting. I know your previous home wasn’t as bit, so all of this might take a while to get used to so much space. I’ll always be there to help though, don’t worry about it.”

He was so nice, helping him out like this. He carried all his things (not that Aesop had that much), and even got someone to prepare a room for him. While he wasn’t alone in the house, Désire said no one would bother him and if he needed help with anything, he’d get it. An odd thing to say, wouldn’t it be mean for Aesop to ignore others but for them to do everything he needed at that point in time? From what he understood Désire lived with his brother and a man who worked for him, with a butler occasionally being there, so it’s not like there were too many people around. Even so, the suggestion that Aesop should only care about what Désire had to say to him was odd.

But again, should he complain? He was happy that the one person who loved him wanted to take him in. They were never able to show much affection outside, mainly due to everyone not knowing why would Aesop want to be around someone like Désire, who should be a stranger to him. They met very oddly, Aesop was in the park after school, where he was crying over something that happened. The bullies were particularly bad that day, and he needed to cry it out before he came home. The man saw him and comforted him. Ever since then, Aesop would see him in the park every so often, until he decided he wanted to see him with purpose, not only because the man just so happened to be there. They ended up meeting in secret most of the time, in the evenings they both knew the park wouldn’t be crowded.

Now there was no reason to do that anymore, as they were under the same roof. He understood it might’ve been odd to many because Aesop was a child, but now there was no reason to worry about it.

At least that's what it looked like until he met Désire’s brother.

He called him Noir, but Saphir seemed to be his real name.

“Are you sure this is the path you want to go on? You’ll get in trouble.”

Désire just laughed at that. “Brother dear, no one will be getting in trouble, especially not me. And if you value your own situation, you might want to just keep quiet about it.”

The other didn’t say anything to that, but he didn’t seem very happy.

Yes, they were odd to people. Now Aesop was able to see it in real time. He was just happy it was his brother and not someone else, because he didn’t like to have odd looks on himself regardless of who they came from.



The first days here were quite exciting for the boy. With all things new, it was hard not to be like that, especially as Derise was there for most of the time. He seemed to work from home, or at least do most of the things from there, so there was no need for Aesop to rely on anyone else for that first time period. That made him happy, since so far he wasn’t sure if the younger brother was fond of him, and the guy working for him, the one with the odd mask, wasn’t someone he liked in the slightest. He hadn’t seen the butler much, only a few times when Désire was working, and even then he’d disappear as soon as he apparead. It was odd to Aesop, but maybe that was his job, only to be seen by his employer when it was needed. Aesop had no reason to see him or talk to him. Maybe he just took his job that seriously.

One of the things that excited him was having a nice room. Previously, his room was quite small, it had a bed and a closet with not much things. He had to do his homework in the living room too. Now, he even had a computer of his own. Désire let him do online school, as he didn’t want to go back there. He did like his uniform still, he had to have it on him for the times he had to go there, so he couldn’t throw it away.

His bed was big, enough to fit two people. His closet wasn’t small either, but it lacked clothes. Désire has yet to take him shopping, so it would stay like that for a little while. He was happy though. It felt nice being here, in a room that was his.

Désire also said that he didn’t have to always sleep there.

A few times since he’d been here, he’d invited him to come to his room for the night, but so far, Aesop has said no every time. He was aware of what that would probably lead to, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted that yet. He liked him very much, but they hadn’t done anything more than kisses and holding hands, suddenly doing that would be a bit too much for him.

However, he did think of how it would look like to just share the bed with Désire. He’d have someone to hug him and take care of him, peacefully sleeping next to him. He didn’t want to rush into it too fast, but now, he did feel he didn’t have enough. It would be rude to say it out loud, but it was how he felt.

And now, on a night that was rainy and filled with thunder, he felt even more greedy about it.

He didn’t like sleeping alone on nights like these. He’d always sleep with his mother and it would always bring him comfort. Now, with her gone, Désire was the one who could bring the comfort in.

Walking up to his room felt daunting, but the boy did it anyway. He remembered Désire knew to stay up late for work. So the chances he was awake were high. Lightly knocking on the door and entering the room, lights still on.

“Hm? Aesop? You’re still up?”

The boy nodded along. “It’s raining. I can’t sleep alone.”

Désire’s face lit up from excitement when he said that. “Oh, do you want to sleep with me?”

“Mhm. Can you come to my room?”

As if the work he previously had didn’t matter, Désire wasted no time in picking up clothes and telling the boy to wait for him in his room while he went to shower. With how quick it was, Aesop was sure he was hurrying up quite a lot as he did enjoy taking his time with showering.

With the bed big enough for both of them, there was no trouble for them to fit in it, Désire tightly hugging Aesop as they both lay down resting. Aesop faced him, wanting to be as close as possible to him. The embrace was warm, it made him feel safe. Désire’s arms held him closely, not letting go of his back, like a stuffed toy. The man must’ve been happy to finally sleep with Aesop after so long of just holding hands.

It would still take Aesop some time to get used to everything, but one way or another, he’ll get comfortable with most of it.

“Dear, I have something for you.”

Désire had made it a habit that he enjoyed getting Aesop clothes he thought were cute. The boy had gotten used to this by now, even if he hadn’t been here for that long. Having clothes that fit him and weren’t torn was nice. The only thing that had the luxury of being like that was his school uniform before, but that wasn’t the only thing.

The man did seem to enjoy different types of clothing than what Aesop would like to pick on his own though.

Soft pastels and frilly, girly clothes were something he’d always get him, no matter how out of place it felt for a boy like him to wear that. Désire had pointed out many times that it didn’t matter if he was a boy and he could wear whatever he wanted, but Aesop didn’t have a problem with that. It was more so that he had no interest in clothes of that kind, but it was the only thing Désire wanted to buy for him. Every time they were shopping together (so far not many times, Désire liked to get him clothes on his own), the moment Aesop would gesture towards more boyish clothes, he’d calmly try to talk him out of it or at least settle for something more neutral or lighter. Aesop still didn’t understand why he wanted him to wear stuff like that and talked him out of boy clothes.

And now, Désire had taken it a step further and got him a dress.

It covered most of his body, a frilly pink dress that went over his knees. It was not something Aesop would ever think of wearing, especially not outside. It was not a dress to wear around the house, that was for sure.

“Are you sure this is okay? I don’t think it would be something I could wear outside.”

“You’re right, it might not be the best idea. That’s why you can wear it around the house! Quite nice, isn’t it?”

Such a pretty dress, to be used only inside? Was this really a great idea? Especially since Aesop prefers more mobile clothes in general.

“Come on, try it on! I want to see you in it!”

The boy reluctantly took the dress, turning around to change. He knew Désire would be watching him while doing that, but by now he had no issue with it. The man enjoyed doing that so it was fine.

The dress fitted him well and was comfortable. Nothing felt odd about it, even though the concept of him wearing one was a bit odd to the boy. It didn’t make much sense still.

“You look so pretty in that!” Désire’s happiness was obvious, it was impossible to miss it. The man liked looking at him like that, him just wearing clothing of this sort. Aesop felt bad that he didn’t feel the same way.

“I… don’t know about that. It’s odd.” He didn’t want to be negative, but he had to be honest. Relationships are meant to be like that in the end, so it was better if he wasn’t fearful of it now.

“You’ve never worn a dress before, have you? Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. It might look odd now but after a bit it won’t, I promise.”

That didn’t look right.

“...I don’t think I like dresses much. Or the frilly clothes.”

The man’s face seemed down after that. Did Aesop disappoint him?

“Now, that’s not nice to say with everything I go out of my way to do for you, is it?”

Aesop wasn’t sure what to say.

“It would be really mean to be like that after everything, wouldn’t it?”

“I- I’m sorry…” Aesop didn’t know what was wrong here. He said he didn’t like dresses, but Désire was now upset about it. Was he supposed to not say that? “I don’t think I understand…”

Désire kneeled down to his eye level. “I’ll give you everything you need, and you should be happy and grateful about it. Sometimes things might not make sense, then you can ask about it. I got you the dress because I want you to wear it, and you’ll do so. I don’t think that was hard to ask before saying what you said. Even if you don’t like it much, you’ll get used to it after a while, as I said before. Does that make sense now?”

The boy nodded.

“Good boy. See, not that hard. Next time ask, alright? I don’t like getting disappointed.”

So, he had to do things as he was told sometimes? To be fair, Désire did allow him to continue his education and live with him, getting everything for free. He might be a child, but he had to do something in return. Désire saw that as something he had to do, so Aesop should listen.

The boy nodded along. “Okay.”

“Good! Now, it would be good to walk around in it for a bit. I like looking at you like that, so getting used to it is important so that you don’t have trouble with it anymore!”

He was back to his previous happy self, now that Aesop accepted everything. Such a quick change of heart was odd.

“I have to go to work now, we can talk more later. I have other plans for things I want to get you that we can talk about then.”

Aesop was then left alone, off on his own to do whatever. After all this, he could use a snack.

As he went down the stairs to the kitchen, it was impossible for Saphir not to notice him in the living room.

“Why are you walking around like that? Where did you even get the dress?” His confusion was understandable.

“Désire gave it to me and told me to wear it around. I have to get used to it.”

The other didn’t seem surprised or even moved by that statement. He shook his head, probably in disapproval of what his brother was doing, and continued reading the book like he had before Aesop came into the room.

Somehow, everyone in this house was a bit odd one way or another.

It was only a matter of time before Aesop was led to this situation.

Not that he hated the thought of it or the act itself, but he was nervous about it. Sex was something he only ever heard of before and read a bit about, so he wasn’t knowledgeable about it like Désire was. There was so much a book could tell him, not to mention they were all about how men and women do it, not two men. His nervousness was justified.

It was another one of those rainy nights, so he’d asked Désire to sleep with him again. The older man agreed with no issues, always putting away his work to be with the boy. Aesop was now wearing new clothes he’d gotten him, pretty lace underwear. He’d lie if he said he felt uncomfortable with it, but saying anything of that sort to Désire would be met with disappointment. There were a few more situations like that, all of them ending up in Aesop apologizing and saying he’s sorry. It seemed to work with the man, all happy again that the boy was sorry. After a few situations, Aesop had stopped trying to say something was not to his liking when it came to clothes or other things Désire would get him.

“Cold again, aren’t you?” Désire did seem to enjoy these types of nights, as he’d grown accustomed to hugging Aesop while sleeping like that. The boy was used to it too, it felt nice to have someone to care for him, even if he was odd at times. That didn’t change the fact that he loved him so much.

So, tonight Aesop decided to make that change Désire had been waiting for since the day he came.

The whole time, all things considered, he never pressured the boy about sex, even if he was pushy about other things. It was the one aspect Désire wanted him to initiate, even if sometimes he’d suggest it, but it was nothing more than just that: the suggestion that was always met with a no.

Tonight, as Aesop was hugged, he decided to break it apart a little, enough to get Désire’s attention.

“Hm? What is it? Is something not to your liking?”

The boy took a deep breath. “Um… I… I want to have sex with you… if that’s okay…” His expression of it was shy, he was stumbling on his words. It was done horribly, if he could say so.

Désire, however, didn’t seem to be upset or bothered by the fact the boy was having trouble saying his word. He was delighted on the other hand. Happy.

“Of course my angel.”

Aesop wasn’t sure what to expect. He didn’t think Désire would do anything bad or unexpected to him, not after everything he’s done for him even with the odd way of wanting him to dress, but there was still some natural worry in him. Doing something for the first time is scary, regardless of what it was.

But it did seem that in the end, There was nothing about it that the boy had to worry about.

Désire did promise him to be nice. He’d said that before when talking about sex with him, there was no reason for him to not be telling the truth. Aesop saw it now too, his body feeling all sorts of excitement in the moment they shared in the rainy night. Nothing could make the boy happier than this, it was for sure.

“Was that good honey?”

“Mhm.” Aesop was having a hard time talking but was able to nod along this much. His body did hurt a bit, but Désire told him that would happen. The whole experience was one to remember.

“I love you,” the boy said, hugging Désire tightly underneath the blankets.

“I love you too, my sweet boy.”

Things have still continued to be strange. Now though, they have started to make Aesop feel weird in a way he didn’t like.

Désire’s obsession with him wearing dresses did not stop at any point, it might’ve gotten worse in fact. Most of the stuff he was now getting were dresses. There were still some regular clothes for when the boy had to go outside, but that was mostly for school when they needed him to be there, and even there he just wore his uniform.

At home, it was mostly dresses.

A lot of the time, they weren’t very practical. They looked pretty to look at, comfortable even, but doing things around the house was a bit of a pain, if Aesop would say so. Désire never made him do housework, that was reserved for staff that was sometimes there (Aesop rarely saw anyone but Rogers), but the boy had taken a liking to cooking. He did know how to make some stuff before, his mother taught him how to, but now he was able to do much, much more with always having ingredients and working appliances. Dresses like that could easily be ruined and had to be cleaned very carefully. With how expensive they were, Aesop felt bad baking and cooking in them.

It came to a moment where he did tell Désire about it. It was said in a way that he was sure the other wouldn’t find it disappointing, as he didn’t want to ruin the clothing.

Fortunately, he did listen, just not in a way Aesop expected.

The boy still continued getting dresses, but now they were less extranet and more plain and simple.

“Perfect for work around home,” Désire said to him. “You don’t have to worry about the pretty ones getting ruined now. I don’t want my little housewife to feel bad for making things for me.”

‘Housewife’ is a term Aesop heard of before. It was for married women who stayed at home. Aesop was neither of those things, but Désire seemed to see him in such a way. It confused him and made him feel odd, but they were lovers, maybe he just viewed it like that? There wasn’t a possibility of them getting married anytime soon, he knew that, so was this his way of pretending that was the case? Désire was never one to say things like that, so it felt odd.

It didn’t stop Aesop from enjoying his new hobby though.

“What are you doing?”

Saphir had a habit of often walking onto whatever Aesop was doing. Today he was making a cake, one with fruits since he liked it a lot and Désire seemed to like it too. Last time he made a similar one, he said he liked it. And he even mentioned Saphir liked fruity things, so he might like the cake too.

“I’m making a cake.”

The younger brother didn’t seem to hate him or anything, but he wasn’t that fond of the boy. He never figured out where that was coming from, but it’s not like he was trying to make it hard for him and Désire. He’d just look at him oddly sometimes and that was about it.

“It’s for Désire, but you can have some if you want to.”

The other was there just to take water from the fridge. “I’ll be fine without it, thank you.”

Last time he made something like this, the last piece of cake that was left in the evening was gone by the morning. Désire was with him that night as it was rainy, and Tubefore wasn’t that fond of sweets, so there was only one other person who would’ve eaten it. Maybe it was a part of his presentation as he was supposed to be working some tough job and needed to present himself a certain way, so being like that most of the time was beneficial.

The boy didn't want to talk much more, so he just continued as the other left, not saying another word. At least he didn't look at him too oddly this time. He didn't like when he'd do that.

Aesop took the bowl and continued with what he was doing. He wanted to be done by the afternoon so that Désire could eat the cake in the evening. He was clearly doing a good job with this, so if he did it more, he'd be even happier with Aesop. It was a nice payoff because he'd then be very doting on him, kiss him more, even have sex in a way Aesop really enjoyed. Désire liked a rougher experience, but Aesop preferred a gentle one, so doing things for him would compromise for a better time in the bedroom. He was still happy with it of course, but some more comfort was always nice, especially with how he had to dress now.

He still didn’t understand the dress thing, maybe he never will.

“Désire?”

“Yes?”

The boy had never thought this would come to his mind, but something was not right.

He didn’t like how Désire made him dress, how happy he was when he’d be doing things around the house. At some point, he just started calling him ‘his wife’ out of nowhere. He also wanted Aesop to call him ‘my husband’. This on its own wouldn’t be much of a problem, but with everything added to it and how… weird all of this was, it made Aesop uncomfortable more than anything. There was something about how he saw him, not as a boy that he loves… like something else entirely but he didn’t have a name for it. But it made something that he liked, someone he loved, look much different.

“I don’t feel good.”

“Are you sick? Your face isn’t hot or red. Did you eat something bad?” He seemed worried, but that didn’t give much comfort to Aesop. They were together in the boy’s bedroom, Désire came because he wanted some alone time with him. More often than not, this has now started to evolve into sex, even at times where Aesop wasn’t in the mood for it. Every time he’d try to refuse or say he didn’t feel like he wanted it, Désire would be all disappointed and stop talking to him. The first time, Aesop wasn’t sure what to do. He missed talking to him, not even a whole day after that, the boy was running to him, telling him he was sorry. He wasn’t sure why what he said was wrong. He was supposed to communicate well and did so, but that didn’t seem to give him good results.

It was similar to how it was in school.

There were clear differences, Désire did love him and would then tell him why he wasn’t supposed to say things like that, but that still didn’t explain it.

So now, if he wasn’t feeling like having sex, he had to make something up. He’d never thought he’d have to do that, but now, more than ever, he needed it.

“It’s my stomach. It hurts really bad. I don’t know what it’s from.”

“Hm, we did eat fish and you didn’t have much with it. It could be from that. You should really eat more variety of food with it, it can have a bad effect on your stomach.”

“I’m sorry. I will eat more next time.”

Désire was still holding him close, so Aesop was still not in a position of freedom. He was wearing another lace set the other had gotten for him. He was amazed that the size fit him well, as he did know these are made with adult women in mind, yet they fit him perfectly. Where would Désire gotten them?

The grip on him finally loosened. “Darling, I might need to do some more work. Do you mind me leaving?”

“No, it’s okay. Please don’t stay up too late though.”

Désire smiled at him. “Of course not.”

He probably would. On the days he did a lot of work, he knew not to come to him at all. By now they’d been sleeping together all the time, and on the day that they weren’t, Désire would stay up all night working in his study. Aesop had no idea what he was working on, but Désire always avoided talking about it, saying it’s not for kids to know.

As that door finally closed, Aesop allowed himself to lay down, cover himself and quietly cry.

When he came here, he was so happy. Désire loved him, he definitely still does, but this isn’t the same. He always was careful with him and gave him things, said nice words. This was, for the most part, now gone. Whenever Aesop has a problem with something or something felt off or wrong, he’d behave as if he was wrong for feeling like that. Were his feelings wrong? Was he supposed to just accept this?

It felt wrong. Him being dressed like a girl, being called ‘wife’ and ‘housewife’ and with the way he was treating him every time he had an objection, it didn’t feel like this was a safe environment for him.

What happened?

Why did things turn this way?

Why was Désire now so… controlling now?

Things have changed. Not in a way he liked.

Aesop cried himself to sleep, worrying what was to come. He never thought he’d have to worry or be afraid, but he was now, and he didn’t want to.

Because he was supposed to be loved here, not fear that love.