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Oct. 31st, 2024 22:33
Just enough
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overmoreThe feeling of uneasiness should've been the first sign that something was wrong.
Noir recognized this as just the usual, he was almost always under some stress. Knowing his heat would approach soon, even on suppressants, some signs could be seen, though no one would be surprised if a new side effect would appear all of a sudden. Uneasiness was listed as one of the possible ones, so it must've been that until now, Noir just never had that.
But then it became more intense.
He wasn't sure what was going on. He took the pills right and in time, there shouldn't be anything wrong with him now. They couldn't have gone bad either since he never took any that were close to the expiration date.
Then the day it would normally come, the heat came.
Just then he realised someone must've done something with the pills he took.
It only took minutes after his awakening to find out who did that, and it wasn't even a surprise.
“Good morning, brother dear. You don't look so good.”
Désire being the culprit behind all of this, should’ve been as clear as day. With how greedy he was, wanting all of Noir’s free time only for himself, at some point, he’d pull something like this, it was just a matter of time. The time was now, it seemed.
“...Seriously?”
“Why so surprised?” Désire said that with no signs of losing his composure. A military-trained alpha had to control themselves better than any other, especially if they ended up working there permanently. Many things from those days still affected Désire, and being able to resist an omega in heat was one of them. Of course, if he were to strip and lay in bed with him, it was a question if he’d be able to handle it, but for someone standing next to an omega in heat, he was doing just fine, as if Noir wasn’t even there.
“You’ve been refusing to spend time with me, dear brother. It makes me sad.”
Sad my ass, Noir thought to himself. There was nothing in this world that could make Désire sad, he was doing this out of spite, nothing else was possible.
“Then I remembered, you don’t really need those,” he said, referring to his pills. “At least not for this month. You are low risk, in the end.”
He was not sure if he was referring to the fact that it isn’t highly likely for him to get pregnant due to his genetics or the fact that if that did happen, terminating it was no issue with their money and the status of the Melodis family. Sometimes, his brother was hard to read.
Désire walked over to the bed, bending down towards him. “You seem quite excited to see me now at least. Will you apologise for avoiding your dear brother now?”
“Fuck you.”
The heat was enough to make Noir say things he would not dare say when without it, and it amused Désire. The only time his brother would be honest without hiding a single thing, always in his most vulnerable moments.
“What a bad dog you are. Someone needs to teach you some manners.”
Noir knew not to fight this battle, it was a losing one anyway.
---
Two or three days? He wasn't sure how long it had been. Whatever the time, it didn't matter. His heat was passing, surprisingly a short one. He never took suppressants regularly, especially with how bad they can be on the body if taken too often, but one would expect them to cause his body to go wild with this heat, considering his last one was three months ago.
Or maybe it was because of Désire.
His scent was already so intoxicating it made him think it would prolong the heat even more, but apparently it cut it short. He never had this happen before, but Noir didn't mind it at this moment. Even if he didn't particularly hate anything now.
Désire was too good for him, even with everything they had going on. His powerful, pretty older brother had him under his fingers, he couldn't even hate the fact they spend half a week just fucking, or the fact that he sabotaged his medicine. It didn't matter anymore, it never would.
No matter how much hurt the other would bring him, he could never hate him fully. Désire was his drug, he could never just give it up, even with everything he would do to him.
Laying patiently next to him, watching him peacefully sleep as if nothing had happened in the past few days. His smell was enough to keep the omega calm, to still cling to him even after everything.
It was always just enough for him.
Noir recognized this as just the usual, he was almost always under some stress. Knowing his heat would approach soon, even on suppressants, some signs could be seen, though no one would be surprised if a new side effect would appear all of a sudden. Uneasiness was listed as one of the possible ones, so it must've been that until now, Noir just never had that.
But then it became more intense.
He wasn't sure what was going on. He took the pills right and in time, there shouldn't be anything wrong with him now. They couldn't have gone bad either since he never took any that were close to the expiration date.
Then the day it would normally come, the heat came.
Just then he realised someone must've done something with the pills he took.
It only took minutes after his awakening to find out who did that, and it wasn't even a surprise.
“Good morning, brother dear. You don't look so good.”
Désire being the culprit behind all of this, should’ve been as clear as day. With how greedy he was, wanting all of Noir’s free time only for himself, at some point, he’d pull something like this, it was just a matter of time. The time was now, it seemed.
“...Seriously?”
“Why so surprised?” Désire said that with no signs of losing his composure. A military-trained alpha had to control themselves better than any other, especially if they ended up working there permanently. Many things from those days still affected Désire, and being able to resist an omega in heat was one of them. Of course, if he were to strip and lay in bed with him, it was a question if he’d be able to handle it, but for someone standing next to an omega in heat, he was doing just fine, as if Noir wasn’t even there.
“You’ve been refusing to spend time with me, dear brother. It makes me sad.”
Sad my ass, Noir thought to himself. There was nothing in this world that could make Désire sad, he was doing this out of spite, nothing else was possible.
“Then I remembered, you don’t really need those,” he said, referring to his pills. “At least not for this month. You are low risk, in the end.”
He was not sure if he was referring to the fact that it isn’t highly likely for him to get pregnant due to his genetics or the fact that if that did happen, terminating it was no issue with their money and the status of the Melodis family. Sometimes, his brother was hard to read.
Désire walked over to the bed, bending down towards him. “You seem quite excited to see me now at least. Will you apologise for avoiding your dear brother now?”
“Fuck you.”
The heat was enough to make Noir say things he would not dare say when without it, and it amused Désire. The only time his brother would be honest without hiding a single thing, always in his most vulnerable moments.
“What a bad dog you are. Someone needs to teach you some manners.”
Noir knew not to fight this battle, it was a losing one anyway.
---
Two or three days? He wasn't sure how long it had been. Whatever the time, it didn't matter. His heat was passing, surprisingly a short one. He never took suppressants regularly, especially with how bad they can be on the body if taken too often, but one would expect them to cause his body to go wild with this heat, considering his last one was three months ago.
Or maybe it was because of Désire.
His scent was already so intoxicating it made him think it would prolong the heat even more, but apparently it cut it short. He never had this happen before, but Noir didn't mind it at this moment. Even if he didn't particularly hate anything now.
Désire was too good for him, even with everything they had going on. His powerful, pretty older brother had him under his fingers, he couldn't even hate the fact they spend half a week just fucking, or the fact that he sabotaged his medicine. It didn't matter anymore, it never would.
No matter how much hurt the other would bring him, he could never hate him fully. Désire was his drug, he could never just give it up, even with everything he would do to him.
Laying patiently next to him, watching him peacefully sleep as if nothing had happened in the past few days. His smell was enough to keep the omega calm, to still cling to him even after everything.
It was always just enough for him.
Dec. 4th, 2023 09:37
Quiet night
overmoreHe didn't know if he should've looked away when it started happening or not. Either way, it was too late now, at least he thought so.
Saphir didn't like looking at his brother like this. That cane that was once just a status symbol once he became older was now doing it's intended purpose. But Desire was not old enough for that, it should've taken years before that. Someone who's barely twenty shouldn't be using a cane.
But what could the younger brother do but only look?
It was not like their father was of much help. He too noticed how Desire's weight had fluctuated, but the approach the man took seemed to be doing more harm than good. Telling your son he looks like a skeleton and that he should eat more wasn't something you'd want to hear at the dining table. Pointing out that the experience clothing that once looked perfect on the older brother now was "hanging off of a hanger" felt more like a targeted insult rather than the encouragement to get better.
It didn't help that the people around the manor talked about it too.
The maids, cooks, butler, even Tuberose would point it out sometimes. The latter knew when to shut up though, which was not the case for the others. Noir could only imagine what it was like to walk around and hear others talking behind your back on how you look too worn out.
The once proud sibling that would walk the halls of the manor with his head high, maybe even a little too cocky was now replaced with a man who just wanted to get to where he wanted to be, without many eyes on him.
Saphir knocked on the door, then opened it.
"Are you sleeping?"
No words came out, but the movement on the bed showed that Desire was not asleep yet.
The younger brother made his way to the bed, sliding underneath the sheets. Desire was too quiet for his own good tonight.
"Don't expect anything, I'm too tired."
"Can I not just be near you because I want to?" Saphir snuggled up to the older one, receiving a reaction finally. Desire leaned towards him, their faces meeting in the dark. Saphir could barely recognize him with no lights on, but it was the same Desire he always knew: proud, cold towards everyone but him and calculating.
But none of these things were present now. They've been slowly deteriorating, along with his weight.
Sometimes Saphir wondered if he should've asked him if he was alright the first time he saw him vomit out the food they just ate. Wondered if every subsequent time he should've pushed it more, talked to him, trying to figure out what was wrong. If he should've asked for help from the doctor in their annual check up because he was the only one who knew how he was losing that much weight.
He felt like a bad brother and bad lover.
“You never come for just that,” Desire replied. “I'm not in the mood, Saphir. I can't even get turned on like I used to.”
It had affected their sex life too. Desire had trouble getting turned on more and more, and even when he did, he couldn't last that long. It build up frustration in him, being unable to do something as simple as to last long enough to make Saphir come too. He had started to feel enthusiastic about it more and more, sometimes locking the door to his room so that Saphir couldn't come it at night. It did hurt a little, his thinking that Saphir only wanted that and nothing else, not the closeness of his lover or his touch. Saphir would tell him it was alright, it didn't matter that he couldn't get off with him, he just wanted to be with him in the end.
But of what use was that if they couldn't communicate it?
“Desire,” his quiet voice filled the room. “I just want to be with you. You're my lover, I want to spend some time with you even if it was just this.”
“What, laying in bed, watching me be miserable?”
He could see the brother bite his lip.
“You're not miserable Desire, you're just struggling a bit. You know… you know I want to help you, if you let me.”
Hand gripped his waist, Desire holding onto him. He had expected the man to maybe be angry or upset, but that was not the case. Regretful, maybe? Sad? He couldn't put it correctly. But still no answer.
"Desire?"
Nothing. Should he say something else?
"...I don't want help. I'm fine."
Should he be in disbelief? "You're not fine. You struggle walking sometimes! Please, let me help you." He was looking at him with those adoring eyes he'd use as a child when he wanted to get something from the maids. It would sometimes get him something for Desire too, but now it was useless, knowing they were much older and they were in the dark currently.
Was it shame that stopped him from asking for help?
Saphir can't push. Not now, not ever. He can get to the root of the problem at some point, right?
"Promise me", he started. " That you'll ask me for help at some point, okay? You know I only want the best for you."
The grip on his waist tightened a bit. Desire looked back at him, some amount of faith restored to Saphir.
"I'll try."
It's the most he could do, as a brother and a lover. He did not want to see his loved one die because of anything, let alone something like this.
He's hopeful at least. That maybe he'll teach out, ask when he feels like it was needed. That's the most Saphir could do to help in the end.
Saphir didn't like looking at his brother like this. That cane that was once just a status symbol once he became older was now doing it's intended purpose. But Desire was not old enough for that, it should've taken years before that. Someone who's barely twenty shouldn't be using a cane.
But what could the younger brother do but only look?
It was not like their father was of much help. He too noticed how Desire's weight had fluctuated, but the approach the man took seemed to be doing more harm than good. Telling your son he looks like a skeleton and that he should eat more wasn't something you'd want to hear at the dining table. Pointing out that the experience clothing that once looked perfect on the older brother now was "hanging off of a hanger" felt more like a targeted insult rather than the encouragement to get better.
It didn't help that the people around the manor talked about it too.
The maids, cooks, butler, even Tuberose would point it out sometimes. The latter knew when to shut up though, which was not the case for the others. Noir could only imagine what it was like to walk around and hear others talking behind your back on how you look too worn out.
The once proud sibling that would walk the halls of the manor with his head high, maybe even a little too cocky was now replaced with a man who just wanted to get to where he wanted to be, without many eyes on him.
Saphir knocked on the door, then opened it.
"Are you sleeping?"
No words came out, but the movement on the bed showed that Desire was not asleep yet.
The younger brother made his way to the bed, sliding underneath the sheets. Desire was too quiet for his own good tonight.
"Don't expect anything, I'm too tired."
"Can I not just be near you because I want to?" Saphir snuggled up to the older one, receiving a reaction finally. Desire leaned towards him, their faces meeting in the dark. Saphir could barely recognize him with no lights on, but it was the same Desire he always knew: proud, cold towards everyone but him and calculating.
But none of these things were present now. They've been slowly deteriorating, along with his weight.
Sometimes Saphir wondered if he should've asked him if he was alright the first time he saw him vomit out the food they just ate. Wondered if every subsequent time he should've pushed it more, talked to him, trying to figure out what was wrong. If he should've asked for help from the doctor in their annual check up because he was the only one who knew how he was losing that much weight.
He felt like a bad brother and bad lover.
“You never come for just that,” Desire replied. “I'm not in the mood, Saphir. I can't even get turned on like I used to.”
It had affected their sex life too. Desire had trouble getting turned on more and more, and even when he did, he couldn't last that long. It build up frustration in him, being unable to do something as simple as to last long enough to make Saphir come too. He had started to feel enthusiastic about it more and more, sometimes locking the door to his room so that Saphir couldn't come it at night. It did hurt a little, his thinking that Saphir only wanted that and nothing else, not the closeness of his lover or his touch. Saphir would tell him it was alright, it didn't matter that he couldn't get off with him, he just wanted to be with him in the end.
But of what use was that if they couldn't communicate it?
“Desire,” his quiet voice filled the room. “I just want to be with you. You're my lover, I want to spend some time with you even if it was just this.”
“What, laying in bed, watching me be miserable?”
He could see the brother bite his lip.
“You're not miserable Desire, you're just struggling a bit. You know… you know I want to help you, if you let me.”
Hand gripped his waist, Desire holding onto him. He had expected the man to maybe be angry or upset, but that was not the case. Regretful, maybe? Sad? He couldn't put it correctly. But still no answer.
"Desire?"
Nothing. Should he say something else?
"...I don't want help. I'm fine."
Should he be in disbelief? "You're not fine. You struggle walking sometimes! Please, let me help you." He was looking at him with those adoring eyes he'd use as a child when he wanted to get something from the maids. It would sometimes get him something for Desire too, but now it was useless, knowing they were much older and they were in the dark currently.
Was it shame that stopped him from asking for help?
Saphir can't push. Not now, not ever. He can get to the root of the problem at some point, right?
"Promise me", he started. " That you'll ask me for help at some point, okay? You know I only want the best for you."
The grip on his waist tightened a bit. Desire looked back at him, some amount of faith restored to Saphir.
"I'll try."
It's the most he could do, as a brother and a lover. He did not want to see his loved one die because of anything, let alone something like this.
He's hopeful at least. That maybe he'll teach out, ask when he feels like it was needed. That's the most Saphir could do to help in the end.
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